Random Thoughts (with Notecard Art)

Guest Post: Exercising: My Love/Hate Relationship With The Gym

2009-11-06T06:14:00.002-05:00

By Patricia "Patty" Pendleton

When I moved to Minnesota at the age of thirty-six I decided to get healthy. Well, I would like to think that was why I joined the gym, but it really was my desire to get skinny. I even went so far as to have liposuction a few years back. All that did was take the fat from my butt and redistribute it to my abdomen and arms. I have never liked to exercise. If I could take a pill to do it I would go that route. I do not like getting sweaty and winded. I haven't the drive to be the best and compete for glory. I just want to be thin, plain and simple. It sounds vain and I own up to that. After being nicknamed Piggy by my two older sisters during my teen years my body image suffered greatly. Now, going on thirty-nine I am still battling this demon that drove me to do an unspeakable thing to my body. I joined a boot camp class.

Over the years I have spent thousands of dollars on at-home exercise equipment. Sitting in my garage right now is the elliptical machine I had to have. The most exercise I got from that thing was dragging it up from the basement this past weekend so I can Craigslist it so I can pay for my gym membership. At the gym there are plenty of free classes I could go to, but I decided to do the boot camp class, which cost extra, much to the dismay of my ever patient husband. I did the boot camp class because it is supposedly the hardest class at the gym. Boot camp is for bad asses and I wanted to be one of them. I wanted to have a sculpted stomach with a tight, high muscular butt, free of cellulite and jiggle. I wanted arms like Madonna. I would get thin in this class. I just knew it.

After twenty-four weeks of boot camp class not much in my physical appearance has changed. I still have my mom gut and, sadly, cellulite. However, I can pump out one hundred seventy push ups during the hour long class when told to do so. I can even run five miles with little fatigue. If someone told me I would be able to do these things when I first started I wouldn't have joined at all. I would have said: "They are going to make me do what? Why would I want to run holding twenty extra pounds of weight over my head? I am a house wife for Christ sake, why would I ever need to hold a plank position for ten minutes?"

Though my initial goals were not achieved, the whole "thin" thingy keeps me going. It isn't because I love the feeling of reaching a new level of strength and endurance. Rather, I am afraid if I quit now I really am going to get huge. I figured I was burning, on average, at least five hundred calories per class. Times that by three, and the calories I burn running twice a week, and I would have to cut out a lot of food from my life to maintain my current weight. It is a vicious cycle. The exercising increases my appetite, so I have been eating more food then ever, and if I quit exercising my metabolism is going to tank. I feel like the rat on the wheel running in circles and going nowhere fast.

Another thing about exercising I have noticed is I don't feel any healthier. In fact, I have more aches and pains then ever. My ankles, knees and the muscle right underneath my left butt cheek have suffered from "fitness". The running has made my neck problem flare up from all the jarring. I hate exercising so much I clench my teeth the entire time (when I am not mouth breathing, gulping air into my burning lungs) creating tension headaches. On top of all that it makes me swear like a sailor. I drop the f-bomb at least thirty times during a class. I think the other people in class think I have Tourette Syndrome. So what is a woman to do?

I have one month left to figure it all out before my boot camp ends. It would have been over this week, but I won an extra month doing a fitness challenge at the club. Isn't that ironic? I can admit I am proud that I have stuck with it as long as I have. My motivations were shallow and trite, but I think in all this misery, which I paid extra for, I learned something about myself: I realize if someone tells me to do something I will do it. On my own I am a quitter. I need people to inspire, motivate, even threaten me to reach my potential. I can live with that.

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City Blackout

2009-11-04T06:13:00.004-05:00

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The Beauty of Grey

2009-11-02T12:02:00.003-05:00

Is it still possible to separate your personal life from your professional life?

I say no.

With modern communications (i.e. smartphones) we have the potential to always be connected. Currently, being constantly connected is a conscious choice. I think that in the not so distant future being constantly connected is going to be a requirement.

Being constantly connected will be a requirement because the smartphone is becoming pervasive and the call and data plans associated with the smartphone will continue to become affordable for everyone.

As the smartphone market continues to grow, the expectation will be that we are constantly connected personally and professionally, and the days of leaving your work at work and your personal life at home will become a thing of the past. The line between work and play will blur.

For some, the line between work and play has already blurred, but this will be the case for everyone soon.

You can run, but you can't hide. And if you try to hide you will find that you will become irrelevant because you are not connected.

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Guest Post: Zombie Housewives

2009-10-30T22:36:00.001-04:00

By Patricia "Patty" Pendleton

Somehow over the last twelve years I have joined the ranks of the living dead. I am not talking about your flesh eating, stinking corpse types, which may have automatically come to mind. No, I speak of something even worse. Something real that exists in every town, state, and I would surmise it occurs even at the global level. I speak of zombie housewives.

Zombie housewives are not created over night. It take years of mindless and mundane day-to-day events to transform a perfectly normal woman into a monster. The brain slowly turns into the consistency of oatmeal after hanging out with infants and toddlers all day, everyday, at home. The first signs of zombification are the inability to complete a sentence, and speaking with a sing-song cadence. The watching of daytime television has been shown to speed up the process. The amount of exposure to chemicals found in cleaning products may be the determining factor to who will succumb to this terrible fate.

An ideal candidate is a stay at home mom with young children and a freakishly clean house. This will eventually change after the metamorphosis is complete and when all of the children are in school full-time. Cleaning will take the backseat to going to the gym and wandering around aimlessly at Target. We become experts in killing…killing time that is. In bookstores we congregate in the romance novel section and can be seen flipping through the entertainment and fashion magazines trying to remember what it was like to be alive. Malls and coffee shops are crawling with us, too.

Zombie housewives, like myself, can pass off as functioning human beings from time to time. This usually occurs when we are interacting with some sort of professional on the behalf of our children’s well being. Pediatricians, teachers, coaches…you get the picture. Even our husbands can be fooled. Our children, especially the girls, tend to see us for what we really are around the age of eleven. Only to our doctors and each other can we find comfort. The doctors’ promise to bring us back from the dead with drugs like Prozac, Welbutrin, Effexor, and Celexa gives us hope. Our fellow zombies let us know we are not alone . That is why we tend to hang out together in small groups.

Some housewives probably will take offense being compared to zombies. I am well aware of perfectly normal homemakers that intermingle with us sub-human moms. The likes of them are readily found at the Parent Teacher Organization meetings and community building functions. Their eagerness to be involved and informed motivates them to take action. They roll up their sleeves with a can-do attitude and lend a helping hand when needed. They even manage to return to work. Me and my kind admire and hate them at the same time.

In the end, all I am trying to say is there are many of us zombie housewives out there staggering through life lost. Personally speaking, I never wanted to end up like this. To many we seem lazy and self absorbed. In reality, during our pursuit to raise happy, healthy children and creating a home, part of us died. I am not trying to garner pity; rather, I wanted to educate the unknowing masses who we are and how we came to be.

City

2009-10-28T11:49:00.002-04:00

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Be Unexpendable

2009-10-26T12:20:00.004-04:00

How can I keep my job? In these tough economic times that's a question many are asking.

Here's how to keep your job: Make yourself unexpendable. Be the person that is always hustling to make things better. The person that is always looking for ways to keep busy. Be the person that gets creative and has ideas to make your organization better. Be the employee that shows up with an idea that brings value to the organization -- brings in business.

Don't be the person who shows up every day and looks for someone to give them something to do. These are the expendable employees. They add no value -- other then they do their job, or do what they are told. Sure, every organization needs these types of employees -- they do the grunt work. But what every organization needs, and values highly, are the knowledge workers who can, both, do the grunt work but also add value with an idea that brings revenue to the organization. The guy that just shows up and does what he is told to do -- the minimum requirement -- is the guy that's expendable when money gets tight.

Tom Friedman wrote a recent piece, The New Untouchables, in the New York Times about this topic. Instead of calling these workers "unexpendable," he referred to them as "untouchable." His article is worth the read.

Be the employee that brings value to the organization and you'll never be wanting for a job. If you prove you are a creative thinker and a problem solver, you'll make yourself unexpendable.

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The $100 Rule

2009-10-21T21:39:00.004-04:00

Have you ever noticed that if you walk into a Target, Wal-Mart, Lowe's, Home Depot, or any other retailer of choice, it's damn near impossible to walk out without spending a hundred bucks.

More times than not, when I walk into one of these retailers, I don't have any intention of spending more than a few bucks, or just browsing for the purpose of browsing and spending no bucks, but inevitably, I walk out with a few bags and, at least, a hundred dollars lighter in the wallet. I call this the "$100 Rule."

Now, many of you will probably bristle and say, "Well, I was just in Wal-Mart yesterday and only spent ten dollars..." Look at the overall history of your trips to the retailers. I would venture that you come pretty close, on average, to the $100 Rule.

It's not good, bad, or indifferent. It just is.

It doesn't matter what your intentions are, over time, the retailers are going to get your hundred dollars.

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Untitled 1

2009-10-20T22:32:00.004-04:00

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Subscribe to the Random Thoughts Blog

2009-10-19T21:22:00.004-04:00

Random Thoughts Readers,

I've added a couple of different ways to subscribe to the Random Thoughts Blog:

1. You can now subscribe to Random Thoughts updates via email. Just enter your email address in the box in the right margin. A verification email will be sent to that address. Just click on the link in the verification email and you will start receiving email updates every time I publish a new post to the blog.

2. You can also subscribe to the blog using RSS. If you are not familiar with RSS, follow this link for a great description (What is RSS?).

I look forward to you registering for blog updates via email or RSS. Thanks for reading the Random Thoughts Blog.

Persevere to a Solution

2009-10-19T12:27:00.003-04:00

Have you ever been given a task that was seemingly insurmountable? A task that on first look your thought was: "No way. Not going to happen."

We have all had these types of tasks - some personal and some professional. How you tackle these tasks says a lot about you.

What do you do after saying, "Not going to happen?" Do you start looking for solutions, or do you start looking for excuses? Maybe you do both...

If you persevere and keep working a task, eventually a solution will present itself. It may take seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years, but a solution will present itself. It may not be the solution you were hoping for, but it will be a solution none-the-less.

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2009-10-16T07:10:00.004-04:00

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My Own Good Ideas

2009-10-15T17:48:00.003-04:00

I always say I can easily talk myself into my own "good" ideas. I'm sure we all do this because it's what we do when we make decisions. Some folks are a little more deliberate with their decision making process, but we are all talking ourselves into our own good ideas.

Is talking yourself into your own good ideas a bad thing? I guess that's debatable. If you have a track record for making good decisions, then probably not. If you have a track record for making poor decisions, well, you probably know the answer. If you have no clue what your track record is, you probably have other problems.

I would venture a guess that those with a track record for making good decisions probably talk themselves into their own good ideas, but also bounce those ideas off of confidantes as a sanity check in their decision making process. I would also guess that those with a track record for making poor decisions, more often then not, talk themselves into their own good ideas, period.

It's easy to talk yourself into your own good ideas. After all, if you are only talking to yourself it shouldn't take much convincing. Just make sure your good ideas are in fact good ideas.

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How About a Little Responsibility and Humility?

2009-10-13T19:00:00.006-04:00

Responsibility and humility go hand-in-hand. Taking responsibility for your actions requires a large dose of humility -- especially if you are taking responsibility for something that did not have a positive outcome.

Problems are more easily resolved when you are willing to exercise a little humility and accept responsibility for your actions.

There is a saying in marksmanship circles: It's usually not the dope (windage and elevation settings applied to a weapon to help a round impact at its intended point of aim) on the weapon that causes a round to miss it's intended point of aim, but the dope (person who failed to apply the appropriate windage and elevation settings to a weapon) BEHIND the weapon.

If more dopes behind the weapon were willing to exercise a little humility and responsibility, the world would be a better place.

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2009-10-09T19:40:00.003-04:00

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The Cloud

2009-10-05T20:40:00.003-04:00

Have you heard about the the "cloud," or "cloud computing?" Many probably have and many probably have, but don't know they have.

Cloud computing is what we do when we eschew client-based programs/applications (something that physically resides on your computer) for internet-based programs/applications (something that resides on the internet - the cloud - and is accessed through network connectivity and a browser).

A good example of a client-based program would be the Microsoft Office suite of tools for word processing, building presentations, and spreadsheets. A cloud version of the Microsoft tools would be Google Docs or Zoho. The difference between the Microsoft tools and the Google Docs and Zoho tools is that to use the Microsft tools you have to buy and install software on your computer, while the only thing you need for Google Docs or Zoho is an account, a browser and access to the internet.

The main benefit of cloud computing is that as long as you have network connectivity and a browser you have access to your stuff (files, pictures, etc.). What I have found to be the biggest detractor of cloud computing is that the robustness of many of the applications has not yet reached that of their client-based brethren. Additionally, there is a hesitation with the cloud because you lose some control of your data - if the cloud goes down, you lose your stuff.

The trend is toward the cloud. I have been migrating to the cloud for the past couple of years and have had a good experience with it. The level of freedom and flexibility the cloud provides is powerful.

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Untitled

2009-09-11T12:56:00.004-04:00

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What's the Requirement?

2009-09-09T12:12:00.003-04:00

Sorry for being away the last month. I've been getting settled in to a new job and a new home, so you can probably imagine the hassle. But, I'm easing back into the blogosphere. I hope to be back on my Monday, Wednesday, Friday (Notecard Art) publishing schedule. Thanks for sticking with me while I've been away.

What's the Requirement?

Over the years I've learned to ask myself that question regularly, and I've found that it's a good "bellwether" for making tough decisions. Typically, if you are considering making a large purchase, or are making an important life decision, asking yourself what the requirement is can help put things into a practical perspective. Asking the requirement can help take the emotion out of the decision. If you ask yourself the requirement and really can't articulate it to yourself, then your "internal radar" should sound an alarm. Maybe what you're thinking of doing is not such a good idea.

Every decision doesn't have to have a requirement. Sometimes it's nice to be spontaneous, but when you have to make a big decision - a decision with significant consequences - it's nice to have a simple process to guide your thinking. Asking yourself the requirement is a very simple model that can help frame a decision, and help you arrive at a logical, well thought through decision that will be beneficial for you and your family.

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Moving and Purging

2009-08-11T12:15:00.002-04:00

Since I just finished a move from North Carolina to the Northern Virginia area, I thought this was an opportune time to talk moving and purging.

Have you ever tried to physically empty your house of all its contents? It's not easy. Think about that for a minute: literally, remove every single object -- every coat hanger, shower curtain, role of toilet paper -- from your home. Obviously, the longer you live in one place, the more stuff you accumulate, but it doesn't take long to accumulate a lot of stuff.

Over the past ten years I have become pretty efficient at moving. I have moved a total of six times since 1999. Moving is a miserable process, but like with any activity, you can learn a lot about yourself in the process.

Every time I move I use it as an opportunity to clean up my household "footprint" -- to purge stuff that is just taking up space and sucking up valuable energy, things I have no use for.

Just like you can move and purge your house, you can move and purge your life of all the clutter that's sucking up much needed energy -- realign your priorities and focus on things that really matter. Moving and purging your life is a chance to jettison those things that are no longer important, but continue to hang around and steal your valuable lifeblood.

I've written previously about the benefits of keeping your body and mind in motion (see Keep Moving below). In practically every instance, keeping yourself physically or mentally in motion leads to positive things. One of the opportunities that presents itself when you keep moving is the ability to purge.

It's amazing what a cathartic experience moving and purging is. The benefits of moving and purging outweigh the misery of the task. I like to think of the process in terms of short-term pain for long-term gain.

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Vacation

2009-08-04T10:32:00.001-04:00

On vacation this week. I'll be back 10 August.

The Full Circle Idiom

2009-07-29T21:13:00.003-04:00

I'm a firm believer in the idiom that eventually everything comes full circle. However, my definition of "come full circle" is slightly different than most. There are two prevailing definitions:

To make a complete change or reform.
To complete a cycle of transition, returning to the point of origin.

While I agree with these definitions, my definition states: Eventually, everyone gets what they give. What I mean here is if you're consistently doing good, or bad, you are going to get that in return.

The key to coming full circle is to be consistent with your "giving." If you consistently give good, then you will consistently get good, and vice versa.

If you think of your actions within the coming full circle ideal, you're liable to be more conscious of your actions, and maybe give more good.

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The Value of Transportation and Communications

2009-07-28T17:44:00.005-04:00

Advances in transportation (mainly flying) and communications (satellite/cellular technology and the internet) have "flattened" the world. We are able to get anywhere on the planet via commercial transportation in roughly twenty-four hours, and we can contact just about anywhere on the planet whenever needed.

How much are these capabilities worth? It's hard to put a value on transportation when you really need to get somewhere and communications when you really need to speak with someone. The easiest way to put this into perspective is to use a couple of simple examples.

If you've ever been away from home when a loved one has become gravely ill, you know the value of jumping the next airplane on short notice to get home. It's usually costly to do this, but at that point in time no cost is too much to get to the side of a sick loved one. The value of transportation for this example is almost infinite, because you would go to great lengths to get to where you need to be.

Likewise, if you are a business traveler with a family, you know the value of being able to pick up the phone and call home, or jump on the Internet and chat or have a web video conference with your family any time, any place. This capability, while not the same as physically being with your family, is the next best thing.

The ability to travel anywhere on the planet on short notice, and connect via cell phone and Internet have made these capabilities invaluable to many. It's hard to quantify the value of these capabilities because when you need them, there value is limitless.

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Aztec

2009-07-24T07:50:00.003-04:00

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Hearing vs. Listening

2009-07-22T22:20:00.003-04:00

Often we are hearing, but not listening. The majority of us muddle through life hearing many, many things, but we're not really paying attention to what is actually being said -- not really listening.

We talk just to hear ourselves talk. We are so anxious to get our idea out in a conversation, we don't listen to what the other person is saying -- we're just looking to interject with our idea.

Hearing is something we do naturally. We automatically hear and process sound. Listening is something we choose to do. We choose to listen during a conversation.

Listening requires complete attention and is how we learn. The more we listen, the more we learn.

Next time you find yourself anxious to interject during a conversation, take a moment to really listen to what the other person is saying.

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2009-07-17T09:36:00.002-04:00

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Hobbies: The Family, Work, Exercise Triumvirate

2009-07-15T20:20:00.003-04:00

People often ask me what I do for hobbies. I have always found this a difficult question to answer. It took me a while to figure it out, but I've arrived at the conclusion that I'm not a "hobby guy." I don't do boats, bikes, cars, coins, stamps, etc. I have taken to just saying life is my hobby.

For me, life consists of three pillars: family, work and exercise (the triumvirate). These are my hobbies and they take up all of my time. Sure, I dabble in extracurricular activities outside this triumvirate, but I don't do these activities regularly enough to categorize them as hobbies. If I add anything to the family/work/exercise equation, then one of the three suffers, and I must weigh the cost and benefit.

I'm not saying hobbies are bad. In fact, I appreciate when folks are able to balance their life and include hobbies. I appreciate when someone is truly passionate about their hobby. Any activity that invokes a passion that would cause me to shuffle the family/work/exercise equation is the true definition of a hobby.

How about you? Is life your hobby, or do you have other passions?

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